Life or Something Like It...... Part 2

I was having a bad week last week that I couldn't explain until it hit me. I wasn't sleeping, nor could I eat.... and there was no rhyme or reason for it. Anything I'm going through right now is not that great, but I am not letting it get to me to that degree. But then as I was laying there at 4 am, and this song came on.... it hit me like a ton of bricks. It has been 9 years since this world lost MJ, and he was no longer there in physical form for me to be with. Ya........Even when the mind tries to forget, the soul never does. That is all that I could muster up.


What I can learn from all this..... including MJ and the last couple of years of loss, is a quote I heard a while back. Someone had lost their dad, and were very lost in their own grief and not sure how to deal with it. They stated to someone "I've never known a world without my dad, how do I learn to live without him in it?" The other person saying point blank into their eyes, "You never do." This is never a truer thought, especially for those who have lost someone in their life that meant so much to them. I feel that way about my own dad, and feel rather empty without him around now. I felt that way when MJ died, and wasn't sure where to go from there either. But went on eventually, maybe not the same me, but I ventured on. These past couple years leading up to dad has been hard, and I am attempting to learn to live with the loss of some very dear people to me. I know I never will fully learn, but I can learn to keep walking. As for dad...... I am not sure how I will go from here, as right now I still don't know any answers to that one. I feel much like that person in that quote, and rather lost.


As today rolled on and I was in chore mode and surfing the web at the same time..... I came across some one's facebook pages that had some wonderful advice on it. This person being a wonderful loving spouse of a lost loved one from last year, who touched so many hearts.... not just mine. On this page was advise on how to be around and treat people who are grieving, and not to let them just be. This excerpt coming from a wonderful author's book, that should be passed on to everyone on this planet. Not only precise, honest, but correct words of thought. But also words to live by and ponder from time to time, just in our every day living. One never knows what is going on in different people's lives, as do you really know what goes on behind the scenes when you are not in contact at all times?
It's very true how people can put up a great front. I can do this very well, and have many a time. Just as I can show I am doing wonderful, when in actual fact my face is killing me and I might actually have a migraine at that particular moment that I can't seem to get rid of...... or foodie problems cause I can't quite process something due to the kidneys not working right. I see this in many people I know, as I try to make it a habit to find out about those I am close to. I want to know if they are truly okay, as some times I can tell they are lying when they say that everything is just fine. By the way... How is that back ache today? Is it getting any better? Or have you found a therapy that works yet? If not..... message me, I might know of something that might help..... and you know who you are if you are reading this.


I've taken to many ways of dealing with stresses, pains and grievances in my many years of living. Though for many it was on the other end of a whip or flogger, and even through a needle or two. I found that getting in those extra endorphins always helped me, and I know there are many others out there who do the same as I do or did. It's not just for athletes any more mom, everyone is doing it now. We all have our own way of dealing with different obstacles in life, be it pain or grieving. Mine tend to lead more towards the Sadomastic side of life, and meditation and Tai Chi for the other half of me. I find balance in everything I do, and almost every where I go. If I don't have balance, I am lost. And that can be noticeable, and people watch out. lol. Right now since I am dealing with so much on the upper half of me, and talking care of so many details..... I could really go for some needle play about now. And I am not talking about just a few stuck in me, something that will make me fly out and beyond......... and have my energy just glowing type of needle play. *sigh* Soon some day, I am sure.... and hope and prey... oooops. Sorry, pray.


So as I sit here staring out at the maple tree in the yard... and the grove beyond it..... I ponder what life has in store. Not just for me, but for those I hold dear. I hope that those who have had loss in their life that has hurt them so bad it's made them stop in their tracks as well...... well, that they can learn to walk again as I am going to try to do as well. No there is no learning to live without, there is just living. I hope that those who are out there pick up that phone, or Internet mail, get ahold of someone they haven't in a while for what ever reason, and just say "let's go for that coffee, I'm buying and I don't care if you have rollers in your hair.... I haven't showered." And I truly hope that no matter what happens in this big world of ours, that we know we are not alone. If it isn't our neighbor, our friend down the road, long lost schooled buddy, it's someone in a country we can't even pronounce. Just know that we are not alone in what we do, or how we live.... everyone some where.... has gone through something just as similar... if not exactly the same. It's called life.

Some Times Life Can Surprise You and Be Funny Sometimes.

Life is funny sometimes.... no really it is. Yes I maybe going through a tough time on a personal family note, and yes being distanced from many of my closest friends doesn't help... but I do have a few around me to keep me going at times. But what I am truly looking at is different things and people that have come back into my life from way back when, and how it is a good thing.

Take for instance an ex lover of mine. We shared some absolutely wonderful times together, some involving whip cream and choco sprinkles. I don't regret any part of that, as I can still look back and smile and be thankful for all that happened during those last couple of years I spent in my home town. some time all be it a wee bit tanked and having too much fun stool walking through our favorite pub, other times hanging with the boys (and some girls) and singing song great songs together. It was sad when I left, thinking I wasn't going to see this lover of mine again. Moving south, to camp on the water, into my beloveds arms. Though with the thought in my head of how glad I was that for a moment in time, something I know I will never have again.
So what is even greater about all of this is the now. So after all these years, and the odd call between each other so few and far apart.... we find each other yet again on a BDSm site. Well I'll be a birds butt in flight if I down fall from the sky from shock, but is it really. My lover not knowing who or what I was when they were with me, and me not knowing that they were pervy as well. What makes it even more interesting is the sex, and words said between us, the lil things.... all adding up to the final equation. We should have know. But maybe that is a good thing, as if we did would that have changed things. It might have, made it different. We were on equal ground, and I liked that between us. And oh boy!!!! Did I like it..

Now coming from where I did one is usually discrete about their pervy lifestyle. Or at least back then they were, as now it is a lil more out in the open. I was very young when I knew I wasn't your average nilla girl, and that I certainly like my adrenalin rushes and pain. But there was so much more to it than just those, it was the space I was in. Not many could help me with that up there, and it wasn't something you just advertised in the local paper for or shouted in the street. This being before the age of chat in the net world, and hooking up online. Yes we did have a few of us that knew who we were, and I learned from a select group of wonderful people from near my home of the do's and don'ts. This is where I was trained in the Old Guard ways.... to must delight of many when I got older. But I also learned of who I was at that time, and explored. I was very much a needle/poky girl back in my child to teen years, and I grew to something far beyond that as time went on. I don't think I would be where I am today if I hadn't had that time to  blossom and become, not if it was all in my face like a kid in the candy store. And I am very happy and lucky to have had the time to explore with all that I could, and with whom when I could. I remember my first girlfriend before I was 11, though I had been with a girl even before that. I'm still shocked my parents never caught on to whom I was that one Hollows Eve when I went as half man half woman, I was 8/9 and my sitter helped me with the costume. Yes she knew, and was open and honest with me about things if I asked.... but only if I asked. As funny as that is, she was a bi fem. Life is funny that way.

Being such good friends with this ex lover of mine now as we found each other in such a wonderful place (Fetlife) makes me smile. They are happy in their life, married for a second time to finally the right person... who is their sub/bottom. They make a wonderful loving couple. And Knowing that we will always be such great friends, no matter what. We can look back on our past and smile, and remember  how good life was then..... and some not so good.... but also see how good it is now. That lover of mine is now more Leather than ever, which makes me happy... and finally I can talk to them about my life and all that is in it... Yippee! Share ideas, and everything that is going on. And some day, I hope, get together with their sub, and just hang. Kinda like we did way back when, with no pretence, and knowing that we are such great friends..... and always will be.

Thank you friend for all that you were, and still are. You still make me smile when I think back in time, as many others do from then. Just wanted you to know that. And yes life isn't always peaches and cream, but if we stop to smell the roses.... we can still hear the songs that they sing.

Isn't life funny that way......

We're Not in Kansas Any more Toto

Yes I did change the look of it in here.... I thought it was time for a change. I've cut off my mane just to touching the shoulders, and changing a few things around me.... and for some reason just changing a few looks in some thing. And my blog happened to be one of them. Hope it looks wonderful, as it isn't going any where for a while. No, not a depressive thingy going on in this one.... I love the pic. One of life's best forces at work, and there is no stopping it. Electrical currents coming from the sky, sharpening the water below ( or rather what once was water). Nature.


So I haven't posted for a long while. First off I haven't had a working laptop for a long while, which made it hard to keep posts up and running. Second, life has taken over my pervy life in many ways. And sometimes one has to put the pen down for a while, and just make notes elsewhere when there is time. My focus has been on other obsticals, and ce la vie. Just have to keep living, and putting one foot in front of the other... and smile while doing so.


I'm sitting here in my Granda Jessie's house in Salem...... listening to Portus Head right now, as it's their turn on my mp3. This is the start of month 4 of being here, with just coming back from a month break from being back home in Van BC. I am missing home up there so much, and even more due to the wonderful eve that Gem has planned for the revelers at Rascals tonight. *sigh*. Have tried to take the day off of everything, though it didn't work all day.... worked in the back yard... and then was bored all over again. I haven't stopped since I got back down here a week ago, and I think this is how my body has adjusted. Up far too early in the morning, and no matter how early we were up.... still can't get to sleep till late in the eve.  And if I'm not running around like an ant less a butt, I'm off to Seatle for the day, or Manmoth, or gawd knows where.... traveling away from here no less.  I have become the frequent train rider, if there is such a thing. Never thought that would happen. Now is there a "Mile High Club" for trains? That I do want to know. There have been some hot chicks on the train these past couple of runs, and one guy I might just flirt with just for the fun of it. He was kinda cute, young though... but cute. :). If I could have taken a pick of this one girl, omg.... I would have blown it up and put that on the ceiling. She was hot. Funny, as you don't come across too many like that on the train around here. And yes, I have flirted with a few of them. It has been fun.


It's sort of difficult to think of any thing from that subject when thinking of all what I am here for. Takes all the fun out of it all, and then you wonder is it worth it. Not in the mood for much of anything in that direction, would rather just be..... or maybe, just maybe, float myself for some release. Now that would be sweet, a few pokies stuck in me, that would make my year. Some day soon I am sure. Especially since I've had to move twice, and then have to deal with my dad stuff, and take care of granny too. Yup.... any kind of holiday would be good, and poky is a holiday.
I did bring my whip down with me again. So at least I can get in some practice while here, and see how the new thumb is doing with that.... as long as I don't hurt it too much in the  yard. And will head out to see some friends around this state again soon, and ya never know what will happen. I am going to try to see what I can fit in with my truly busy schedule, as it already has me going non stop. Makes me wonder who is the lawyer, and who is doing all the research and gathering... hmm.


I do believe there is song in there somewhere... I fill find it.


Well finally tired. Finish "Days OF Miss D's Lives" tomorrow.
BB

Good bye 2009...... and all that loss.

It is only part way through the first month of this year 2010. So much happened last year, and certainly not all that great. Yes there were positives and greatness, including the wonderful people that were in my life. But as with that does come sadness, and yes it rained. Not just for me though, all too many that I know had a hard year as well. I am hoping and praying that this new years brings not only happiness and warmth, but love and so much more to make us happy and healthy.

I miss my brother. I am not in a good place with that, and not sure how to deal with it. Shitty accident, and all too soon for him to leave this place. It has only been a few months, but it still like it just happened. I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way, and I know how hard it has been on so many to deal with. Family, friends, and riders alike.... so many I know have a heavy heart. I am thinking for me right now what makes it so much worse than it should be is the fact I couldn't make it up for his memorial, and I should have been there..... It was important that I was. I can't turn back time, and I don't think I would want to. But I can certainly say that I wish this was not so, and that I had gone for a visit sooner. :(
Out of the light of that someone did survive. My very good friend, for whom I will always have a special place in my heart for, did come out of this. Bent, broken, and very bruised... but he did. It takes a will to live to go through what he had, and more soul to keep going on. The gods saved him for a reason, and I am truly thankful for this. I know his daughter needed him, and so did his partner. This is a shining light on what was a grey cloud.

We have lost many other great and wonderful close friends and loved ones since then.... and before. Some closer than others, some I wish I had given them the thanks for all that they did for me... for the drive that they had influence on.
Catherine.... I thank you for you being you. You were a true loving person, with a heart and soul of gold. You made everyone feel like someone, and that smile radiated for miles. I loved working with you on events, and the small talks we had. I will miss those moments, though not forgotten. I know you watch over your loved ones, and are protecting them from all that you can. You were an angel here, and are one wonderful one now. Missing you.
That loving ex of mine...... well one of them, though this one no longer here with us. Shortly before Catherine, you left this plane. I will never forget all that we had together, all that was and might have been, and that bond that we had. Never are forgotten the great wonderful times spent just being together, spending time outside of everyone else around us. Never forgotten are those loving moments that were shared only between us, never forgotten the soft words that you spoke to me last. You were one of many that made an impact in my life, though of few men I allowed into my soul. Thank you  for understanding where I needed to be, and whom with. Thank you for knowing me.
I lost a few other friends that were close to me in my life.... and I had a few close friends lose loved ones out of theirs. Non of these are out of mind, non have been pushed aside, and always a large loving hug to those in need and more. That was 2009, and a hard year to process. This last year will not overshadow my true love gone 8 years now, and I still have a hard heart. But I am moving on in life, and had started to let love back in this past year. Thank you for the strength that you gave me, and the tenderness of not only your gaze on me but your touch.

Now I have many a love still here with this world. No I am no longer with them, but it does not lesson the feelings that I had or have for them. There was so much brought to me and put in my life in the way of caring and love in 2009, I didn't expect what became of the start of it..... and saddened by the end. When there is such loss, it makes it difficult to look what can become somewhere else. This not being the first loss for me, in any form, it never get easy no matter of the situation. I still care, and never will cease.

I didn't have too many projects on the go till now. The end of the year, with many an influence, brought on so much more in my life as to where I can go and what I can do. I look forward to what is ahead, as there is so much bright and light there.  So much can be done, and much will. But more others will benefit than I, unless you count what less of weight I will carry upon my head in a couple of months. :) It's thoughts like this that make me smile, and always drive to continue on. I love my life, I love living it, and I look forward to what is around the corner for me in 2010. It may not all be peaches and cream, but it is my life to live.

Welcome new year.... welcome. I am thankful for so much in my life, I wake every day thinking on this. I am thankful for all those who came into my life this past year, those who re-appeared, and yes even those losses. It was a life lesson to live, no matter. I am thankful for all this life gives me, as I have something to look to everyday......

Loss Of An Angel - Catherine Holman

Catherine White Holman

sdholman.com

M-388 Motion criminalizes counseling of suicide.

There was sad news from the last couple of days.... but I am going to leave that for my next posting.

For now I want to get this out as it is important. Not only to me, as it is close to home due to a gf of mine (who is now healing), and as well a very close friend of mine from a few years back who this affected..... and they now watch over us. I have been fighting behind the scenes, sending letters, and talking to the right people I had hoped. There were many people in a circle that worked for this, many that were not only affected directly but in-directly. And to make this short, miles stones have been crossed.

** RT- Direct from mycanada's site to shorten my typing:

MOTION PASSES UNANIMOUSLY TO STOP ONLINE SUICIDE PREDATORS!Last spring, Carleton University student Nadia Kajouji committed suicide by drowning herself in the Ottawa river after an online chat with a man who pretended to be a girl her age. He befriended her and made a "suicide pact" with her that they would commit suicide together. He asked Nadia to hang herself on webcam so that he could watch, and it is believed that he has done this multiple times on internet chat rooms. Harold Albrecht, MP from Kitchener-Conestoga, has introduced a motion (M-388) in the House of Commons calling on the government to ensure that online suicide counseling be considered an offense. On November 18th it passed unanimously in the House of Commons, a clear message to the Justice Minister that this is an issue that Parliament wants addressed in future bills.

Your Life Counts is a suicide prevention strategy that, with government funding, could become a National Suicide Prevention Strategy. Check it out at www.yourlifecounts.organd ask your Member of Parliament to support it.

• Click here to download petition calling for the House of Commons to criminalize online suicide counseling (English).
• Click here to download petition calling for the House of Commons to criminalize online suicide counseling (French).
• Click here to read article about Nadia Kajouji's case.
• Click here to contact the Justice Minister and ask him to introduce a bill ensuring that online suicide counseling is a criminal offense.

RT: Me again:

~So what this means: 

That if anyone online tries to get you to kill yourself, they can be charged under the criminal code of canada now. If they tell you to go "kill yourself",  and mean it - they can be charged. If they even write it, type it, post it in any form or fashion, leave you a message on your machine... they can be charged. If they make a pact with you, leading someone (or yourself to commit suicide), they can be charged. Any form of this is counseling, or premeditated to the act of. 

Personally I find it along the lines of murder. and I do believe that in the courts it will be treated such as, or similar to. When they put this horrific man up for trial, it will be worth watching to see how it flourishes and ends. I think, besides the fact that I have had this so close to my own person circle, this is so sicken (the story above) due to the fact of whom this man is.

I don't wish harm on anyone. But I know karma will kick someone in the ass, and I hope karma will turn his way soon.

That is all I have to say about that for now.

BB All

Walking The Left Road.... or is it.

I am finding how sometimes life puts a fork in the road you are walking on and you have no choice but take the one on the left. It could be because that the road on the right is blocked by a tree or even a washed out road, but then it could be due to the fact that one doesn't like what is seen down that path. Sadly that has happened to me recently, and I had to take that left road. I am quite sure it is all for the better, as I do not want to be treated with such disrespect and non compliance ever again as I have been. I don't need a friend, life, situation, partner, or just plain anything like that. It is one thing to have poor treatment, it is another to do so then turn it around and blame the person to whom you are doing sad treatment to. Sorry, I don't play that game. There are several behaviors that can be labelled with that, but why dwell in that. I have washed my hands of said person, and am now back on my own road. Vonderbar.

I gave a lot of myself out there and feel like I didn't have that much in return. Well I can say not all is true there, I did get some things back. I got a lot of heart ache, I got accused of many things I could never do to someone.... things that were done to me. Things were said back n forth that I thought would never be, so I learned a lesson out of it all. And I learned what I do not want out of life, and never will do again. I gained a couple wonderful friends out of it, and I will never let that break from either of them. No matter what happens.

Now this all just leaves me to try to figure the rest of everything else out. That is not so easy to do, and there is not always signs or signals left out in the open for me to read or go by. All I think I can do is go by brail, and hope for the best. I have some of the most wonderful people around me, many who I wouldn't trade for anything. I gained insight lately, not just those few friends in my life from that recent relationship, and with that strength. It may not seem like that on some days, I may seem meager at some moments, but that is due to other things going on in my life. I have this strength going on in me that will never falter, I know more about myself then I ever did. I know more of what I want not only in life, but what I want out of it. The only problem is where to start, and knowing my health is at the top of the list yes, but for the other half of it....... where.

I was asked a question by a very nice fellow a few days back. And he will probably read this, and I hope he doesn't get insulted by me referencing him in here... please don't. "Have you sworn off men all together?" For what would seem to most people, the joe/jane blow, it would seem so. That does not mean I hate men, by no means. I love dick, and probably always will. And yes, I can get quite a lot out of a strap on or many a dildo. There is nothing measuring up to a woman, and I could go on listing here...... there is not enough room or enough time. As that one F-M stated (or rather liked to label, as he loves his labels), I'm a bi-sexual dyke. Now what that means is for your own interpretation, I think it means I'm just me. Queer and loving it! Fem Leather Dyke who is ruff around the edges, who just loves to get fucked! If there is something wrong with that, arrest me. You better use the good cuffs for that, as I just might try to get out for the fun of it. *wink wink*.

I am still a Dom. No longer that slave from way back, that is lost in the archives. Not that I don't like to get those needles poked through me once in a while... okay more than that. I have grown, and look forward to more growth. There is always room for that, and of course more learning. I am brushing up on everything I have gone through and learned in my long life of perviness, taking every workshop and course I can. Why not. Not only is it worth while for me, it is for anyone I play with. I have been through a lot, learned a lot, done a lot, seen a lot.... omg, that is a lot. Trying to think of something I haven't done..... animals, kids, dead....... short list. Sheesh, I should do a bucket list I think, next post maybe. A bucket list of kink, hmmm I think I am on to something there. OOOOOOOOOooooooo. shhhhhh. What is after that, finish my book. Get my jaw fixed, get my lupus under control, get the rest of my body under control and on the mend, and then go back and re-certify and go back to work. YES!

As for answers..... not sure if there are any that I will have for now. If there are, I don't have any to post for anyone's eyes. Private eyes will find you, and you know whom you are. I have so much to do in the next few months, and more I want to do. I can't wait to see all that is to come, and what else I can put in my book. If I find that road to the right, oh please run along side me. You never know what might happen, party all the way pervs!

And if there is anyone out there that is sore from anything that has happened around me... or better yet because of me..... Oh Muffin. Usually it is because I have been truly sadistic, or you deserved it. It's called Karma; I have had my fare share, you will get yours as well. So think about how you treat people, and pay it forward the good that you get.

I am donating this year again.... I don't have much, but there are people out there that are far worse off than myself. Trust me. I don't complain really, but look around our city.... heck look around our world. Find that lil someone who needs a meal, or a warm coat, or just a friendly smile to help them through their ruff time. You never know what difference you make in their lives, it could be as strong as holding them up off the street or off that bridge.

Next post: Yukon skeeters make it to vancouver!

Almost Year End, What Next.

Already halfway into another month. Wow how times flies, and not always in the way we would want it to. You can’t always get what you want as the song states, but you can wish for it. I would say think positive, and then roll with what you have.

I can sit here in my life thinking back on the last few months and wonder. But I am doing everything in my power of my mind not to, and just to look forward as to what may come. I have had a lot of fun these last couple of months, with many things that have gone on in my life. Including letting a certain girl in, or rather back in, more permanent. I don’t think I would call her a “GF” per say, and I certainly will not call her a sub of mine. Though I will call her a play partner for sure, and I love her in a way that in special between us. She has her things going on in her life that she has to straighten out, and when all is said and done then maybe we can look at what is going on between us.

But for now….. I am loving playing with her, spanking her, caning her, and flogging her…. And of course, filling her full of needles. She is a pervy girl, and I love this about her. Love making her cum, and when during play she looks so pretty when doing so. Nummmmmy! Just a cutie.

I miss my pup. So don ‘t get me wrong in thinking that this wonderful bundle of girl is replacing anything, as she doesn’t. I love my women, and always will. I am queer as anyone knows, and have always been. Tried the whole man thingy, and well it just didn’t go all that well having a man over me. And for the most part the men either didn’t like me having women on the side, or had ulterior motives when I did. So there will never be that again, I know what I love and need in my life. Girls girls girls. But for that last chance I took in male bonding, I miss. Yes I wish I could have that time back, though you can never look back. That would have to be something renewed, if it were ever to be again. But for now, I am doing my thing the way I want. He is doing his thing the way he wants, and has set that clear as well. As long as we can maintain that friendship, I think that can be more important than anything for us. And hopefully nothing will ever come between us again, no matter what the situation. Life certainly is not the same without pup, and there is an empty space there like a hole that I can’t seem to fill. But I am sure that is something that is felt by anyone that loses something that is precious in their life, and are not sure what to do or how to go on after. It is something that you have to learn to live without, and hopefully not only grow from it but go on. Yes, sad, lonely and depressed….. But I will keep going on.

So where does that leave me now……. Looking to the future. Things that I want in my life, and things that I need. I need my health to level off, I need my face fixed, and I need that treatment for my bones and blood. That would be number 1 for me, and the rest will follow. As for life’s relationships, I am letting the cards fall as they may. I am not going out seeking anything, or hoping that there is something out there so let’s go and tail it. I know there will be something in my life, and when it is right it will be there for me. As for now, I want to have fun while I am living my life to the fullest. Go to the Leather parties that made me so happy so m any years ago, as I have gone back to what put that smile on my face when I was younger. Spend time with what keeps me going, and with women that peek me.

Now on the other sides of life……

I have been house sitting in the valley for going on almost a month now. Talk about a nice break really, but weird. I have been able to have birdie here as well, though their cat is rather neurotic for my tastes when it comes to how he reacts to them going away. And now that the weather has even worsened since being out here, it makes traveling back n forth not so great. Even today sucked, as I ended up in a down pour just as I got into Vancouver, and then left in dryness….. But came back to rain for the walk home off transit. Not nice. What makes this even more sweet, there is a dungeon here. Yippeeee! So when able, I have made use of it of course. Only a few more days left to use it, and yes I am in there like a dirty shirt again after a workshop tomorrow night. It’s always nice when you have a dungeon on hand for use when ever you like, then you don’t have to worry about travel back and forth to home from one after a great play. That can take away the nummyness of what was a wonderful feeling going on, and leave you feeling cold and awful. So needle play at workshop, come here after and place more in to make more pretty designs (as if I haven’t put enough in her already last week), then take the “professor” after her ass. Yes! Now that is my idea of a fun night, and I can’t wait to get to tomorrow. Yes, I’m a perv. Please don’t tell the world.

So after this next set of play I am going to have to hit the needle store up and stock up finally. I was trying to get through the old ones, as I can’t handle having them lying around for too long. One never knows what truly is their shelf life, so it is always good to get the rotation through as soon as you can. I do know I have to get in a rather large order, and I think I know where I am going to go due to the size….. I just hope I can go there. If not, I know of another source. My next pin cushion is getting a few hundred put in twice. Once here for a test run, and then on the island for a few others to see. I can’t wait. Now that should be a whole lot of fun, and has been far to long a wait to do that one.

I have made a few parties this year. Though the best are the Mayhem ones so far, and I have enjoyed the smaller ones as well. I am looking forward to the ones coming up. I can’t wait to the end of the year ones, as more people tend ot go out, and I get in a wee bit more socializing in. Say my yearly hellos, and how ya do’s. Not sure how much play I will get in, but at least I can get out. Until then……….

I have to mention that there is someone out there who attended the last Mayhem party that I thought was a solid person. It was her first leather event, and I would have thought them to read the rules. They consider themselves a slave, so the board rules tend to go across generally. No? Well after leaving that party, she thought it upon herself to blog everything that happened there, in full detail. Not impressive if you ask me, or anyone I know. What happens at a party stays at the party, and that includes other peoples play.... unless you have expressed permission to chat about it. And I can say this, there is no permission given on 99% of the play there, except her own play. she was written to about one person's, asked to take it down, and she has yet to do so.... let alone even respond to that email. Disgusting. And people wonder what is wrong with this so called community. There ya have it. Leather people would never do this, not in a million years. Takes a wanna-be bi girl, who doesn't know the lifestyle to go there, and ruin it for the people who actually live it. I am not impressed. What makes it worse, it makes me think twice about going to public parties.... especially if she is going to be there.

Now that is not a good thought for this month.

The steam baths were a good thought. I came out feeling nummy and like a brussels sprout. Perfect.