Monday, February 18, 2008

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies, that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hells for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There are plenty of food, water, and sunshine. and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of the days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing - they each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks up into the distance. His bright eyes are intent, his eager body begins to quiver.

Suddenly he begins to run from the group. Flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kissed rain upon your face, your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent in your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together.............

Author unknown


Many thoughts come to mind in this time. Everything from anger, all the way down to depression and an emptiness or loneliness in most cases. But as I sit here reading over those very comforting words, that truly fit in any circumstance, I am reminded of many teachings. Listening to the Hindu and Budha way of thinking and living is that when one shows sorry towards the departing, their souls stay with us and don't pass on to the next life. But I do also believe that it is us we who are most saddened by any one thing or person passing on, as it is us who have suffered the loss. The one who has passed on is in a greater place, and looking on us.... guiding us.

I have every right to be pissed though. This is no time to just say hay, poo happens. I'm sorry, there is no reason why all this should have happened and in such a short time in this way. Though I understand full well that getting angry isn't going to get me any where, and what am I going to get angry at. I know where I would like to direct it, and people and our environment and what we put in it and our food is a good start. But for now I am just going to 'be', and get through the next couple weeks. Try not to focus on what is not around any more, and the silence.

This is a good time to find my music again.... don't ya think.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Wrong Number Boy Toy.

i am hoping i am not the only person this has happened to, as i am sure i am not. And usually this is something that one would read in the Penthouse Forum or something to that effect, but i will not and have not gone as far thank goodness. But this might prove interesting if i decide to continue with it, though i think i should let the lil dude go. lol.

About a month ago i received a text on my cel phone telling me to call "them." Who this person was i was not sure, and not even knowing the number that it came from made me think twice. but i thought "what they hay", and i called it. No answer, and i wasn't about to leave a message. i did though text back saying to call me back, as there was no answer. A couple hours go by, and no return call. So i call again, no answer. An hour later, yes i call again, then yet a half hour after that...... finally an answer. And i respond with the " someone text me from this number and told me to call, but there was no answer and i have left a message back, and tried calling with no reply." The lil dude apologizes to me, and states that he had gotten the wrong number.. bla bla bla.
i was in return saying that is alright. Was just wondering, and didn't want to seem rude by not getting back to someone. No biggy. then hung up. lol.
So he texts me back afterwards saying sorry for the confusion, and how nice i sound. Then asks me what do i do, tells me what he does, and proceeds to ask me if i'm single. Of course i tell him that i am not going to be rude to someone who just got the wrong number in a text and wasn't rude to me, and i am normally a nice person. Thank him, and just kinda leave it at that. i tell him what i do, he gets a lil excited.... but don't tell him about my lifestyle. lol. i proceed to tell him that i am not really single, even though i don't belong to any 'one' person, i am not single for him. But i don't say that out loud to him. But as soon as i say i am not really single, he tells me to call him when i am ( i get a good giggle out of that one). So i ask how old he is, he says too old.... ya right. Talks about favorite colors, and lifesaver candy rolls, and then starts to call me lady. lmao. never stopping the convo when i would like to, but really keeps it going, even wanting to know where i live and tells me where he does. He is 37 i find out by this time, and i think he is a lil younger than that. Here is the kicker........ "Let's go out" he posts. Ok, does anyone see what i seeing here. He doesn't want to go out with me because i am not totally single in the first place, but wants to go out with me now. Young!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But what really puts the icing on the cake is when we go back to the couple talk. So he asks about the partner thingy, and then says "lesbian?". Lmao - even harder. i am going "no, but i am bi." So he is onto wanting to meet with me again, just because i am bit. But i am now telling this lil dude that i don't think he can handle a girl like me, and he is saying he can. lol. Wants a picture of me, and knows he can handle me. But won't go out with me if i am seeing anyone else, even casually. i am still doing that - you won't be able to handle a girl like me. i am not going to tell him why. but he gives me his email so i can send him a pic, though i do and it doesn't send right. He sends me his, and he is not bad looking - young though.
The next day he texts me again. "Good morning." Then tells me about his day at work, like we are old friends, or dating. lol. Finally tells me his name, lol. Took me a whole day to get that out of him. We text a bit, but then i tell him i have to go.
The next day does the same, but calls me sexy lady. Now realize i haven't sent him a pic yet, and have only chatted with him for 3 days now. Andy es i did get the "Good morning" before it, and a few other words. He has text me a good morning every day for 8 days afterwards, and i chose to ignore them because it was getting a lil creepy for my tastes. i had told him on the 3rd or 4th day that i was kind of busy, and in my own lil world with things - ie: my pooch. But he seems to think that this might go somewhere, even though he doesn't want to have anything to do with me if i am seeing someone else.

Now if this was the right guy, yes i would drop everyone else. But i am sorry, he is certainly not into BDsm and a lil too young for my tastes. And if i had the chance to play with someone else, minus the sex, i would like to be able to..... and by the sounds of it he would not be into that. lol. A lil too nilla for me. Then there is the other side of me that wants to keep him around just for the fun of it, see where it goes. See what he is like, or maybe i can turn him to the dark side for some wonderful Domme. :) This is a big thought in my devilish head, and something i wouldn't mind doing for a lil fun. But is that a bad thing to do? Hmmmm. Oh well, what ever my choice i had a lil fun for a couple of days. Though i should definitely email him and let him know that my life is just a lil too busy for him right now, let him down easy if i chose not to keep him around for a lil toy box play. *sigh*.

Off to make a tea, and snuggle into my clean sheets and watch the late news and get to dream land with my wonderful lil healing pooch.