Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What i desire and need in this next year as it goes by.....

Another year has gone down for me. As I have been sitting here thinking through the last few weeks wondering what it is that I am wanting out of life, and what it is I am needing…. there is a few things that are truly missing now. Not that I am unhappy with what I have, as I have found a place in my life to keep me grounded and on my way to a more improved situation for myself. Realizing that I can not be placatory to everyone around me, that I actually have to pay more attention to myself and what is happening in  my own lil world and how it actually affects me. It is not that I mind helping all those I care for, and then some. It is that I have put so much aside in my own life,  I have fallen behind in putting my health and life back together in the last few years. My shirt is going to have to stay on from time to time, and I am going to have to request a shirt be put on my bare back every now and again. Something that I find extremely impossible to do most days, let alone on a bad day when it is needed.

Though as I sit here now, writing this all out, I do comprehend to the fact that there are a few things still missing in my lil life that can and will make me content. That also includes that special person that makes me whole, and it can not be just anyone either. I am missing my beloved pooch, but he is irreplaceable. I have many close friends and people in my life that put many a smile on my face, and even having me laughing til my gut hurts. But it is at the end of the day when I am thinking of whom I have to say goodnight to, and whom I have to look forward to seeing at our next meeting…. the excitement that it all entails.


I, in my life at this time, am not seeking someone who wants to put welts on me everyday. Yes I am a masochist, but I also cherish my body. I am always still needing that endorphin rush, and always will. There are numerous ways to achieve this, not just by blackening my ass.

Over the last couple of months I have truly enjoyed the needle play that has been blessed upon me once again fully in my life. I do look forward to more. The signal tail will always be a part of me, as will a select few impact implements. I’ve realized how much I miss rope play and bondage, and just plain being Domed in all the right ways. Having someone have that control over me, and yes that someone does have to be able to control me.

Leading into that particular thought I did have a moment approximately a month back. Someone had just grabbed the back of my hair, and off I went. It certainly didn’t take much, and it took me back to where I always loved to be – erotocomatoselucidity. Under someone else’s control, space and out there. Within someone’s head and world, and them within mine.


I need having that girlfriend in my life. Not just the one that I can have that intimacy with, as yes that is something that is important to me. A lady that is the one who is my friend as well; someone I can hang with, and as well interact with. I just need that “girl time,” whether just a friend or a girl friend.


I am going to surround myself with a positive atmosphere. Negative people be ware, I am going to be spending less time with you. It’s not that I like you any less, I am trying to heal and get my body in a more preferable state is all. My health is going to become one of the number one things at the top of my list, and a few of the obstacles getting in part of the way is part negativity surrounding me. If something frustrates me, I am going to deal with it then walk away…. and go on with life from there. If there is a fare amount of drama coming from anywhere and it isn’t a play or television show, I’m hanging up and walking away.

For those friends out there that are ever so close to me you are always a part of me. I will accept you in my life no matter what, even in the rough times. That is what we are there for, no holds barred.


There are some wonderful men out there that make excellent Doms/Masters. I know this, as not only have I met them I have been with a couple of them. There will be the day when one will knock on my door, and hopefully Wwe both will be in the right time and space in our lives that just maybe a relationship is what Wwe both are seeking out. Not only will I accept this person with all their lil faults, but it will go both ways. There will be understanding on how Wwe live our lives, and how some times life can get away from us and Wwe get just a mite busy. I wouldn’t expect His hand to be at the back of my hair 24/7, as I do believe He wouldn’t presume that I could be at His feet all day long as well. Though for Him to have thought of me at least once a day is always a delightful introspect. It’s not that we lil ones think about our Doms “all” day long, but They certainly are on our minds for a good portion of it.


This might seem as if I am in a dreamscape. That just maybe I may never find the one who enjoys a fare amount of the pervs as I do, or at least let’s me explore a few of them as I would bend a few edges for them. I don’t assume that this is a tall order to ask of anyone out there, it is only a request and not a demand. I want to serve for some one, this is my true desire of all. And along side that I have a few kinks that make me tick, and I only have aspirations that some Master out there will be more than willing to allow me to do what I not only do best…. but desire.


So I sit here pondering my precepts wondering what all exactly I am wanting out of life…. especially for the what I have time for. I still am getting ready to finish re-certifying, and then going for the other big “ticket” when I am done my dissertation. That I am sure will take another couple of years, but I am fully prepared for that. I’ve actually stuck my head in a philosophy book to take a break from it, as nutrients and biology is running my life in more ways than I care at this point enough I need to take a step back from the pages and exams. I should actually pick up a joke book, it might give me a different perspective on things floating around me. lol. Though I did sit and read part of a truly good one of a friend of mine’s that had me in stitches the other day on bed time stories, Politically Correct Ones at that. Now that is something I recommend to anyone who needs to look at life from a different angle, and trust me it will put you there. I suggest all politicians should actually read it, it might get some of our world wide problems solved just a tad faster then what we are facing today down the scope of a rifle or on the ticker tape floor.


Tomorrow I think I am going to make confetti out of all my bills. The best solution I heard to anything, and if they want payment they have to put together the pages first. Puzzles, yes that is what everything should be for those big-wigs when they demand things form the lil guy. I might even try to make an oath of note to throw any more creamers for a whole year, but not sure what I would sweat upon…… BDsm 101? And since I dusted and did all my laundry today, and the dishes are all done, and I am not going to get into any other type of house work, I will not make my bed for a change when I wake in the morning just to be slightly rebellious and just to show the world that I know I am not perfect… thought I might have to be tied down to keep me from doing that last one. I am going to eat something different this week, as long as I can get in some suzzi. And I am going to go and listen to some blues on Thursday, that is my only request for that day. Tomorrow is so friggen busy I won’t know which end is up til approximately 4pm in the afternoon, and after that I will probably rest for the rest of the week and Rascals. I might even steal someone’s tub for a couple of hours, though I will probably ask them first…. I am so not that type of person. And when Sunday rolls around, I will breath. Do my best not to throw that creamer, and have as many laughs as I can. woo hoo.


To the next coming year!  OMG, life seems to slip between our fingers without us even knowing it. One day I will catch it, and tell it a story. Tell life what all I have done, and what I really want to do….. my bucket list.







Monday, February 16, 2009

Tri-City Brunch!! This Sunday - Feb 22.

Greetings Fellow Kinksters & Munchie's,

Yes, there is a Tri-City Brunch in our future... this Sunday after that wonderful Rascals party. Yipeeee! And we just had a Valentines to-boot, for those romantics. i am looking forward to this months events, at least all the ones that i can certainly attend. And fooooooooood.

It is the 'monthly' (The last Sunday of EVERY month)Tri City Brunch held at the John B Pub. Excellent food, wonderful people, awsome service, cute too, and just a wonderful day to be.
Here is the food information for the Tri City Brunch

There is a huge spread of food for pretty munch everyone's tastes out there. From Dim Sum to Poached Eggs, Waffles with Whipped Cream, and i do believe there is even some meat for the side and baccon and sasauge, perogies to go with for the Europian. There is several salads, and fresh veggies for the munchies. And if you are looking for desserts, from 10 or so different kinds of cheese cakes to peacan pie and cocoa mouse. In other words, more dessert than one can handle. Pluss fruit as as well, to balance this all out. Pure Nummmyness. i will have pics soon for Eeveryone to see, camera probs. But there are a few people out there from the last few brunches that can attest to the wonderful food there is to offer. It is worth the cost. And you can order from the menue after 12:30 pm. if the buffet is not for you.
Tri City Sunday Brunch !

Sunday, February 22th, 2009
11:30am to 1:30pm or so (til late afternoon)
John B Pub 1000 Austin Ave. @ Blue Mountain Coquitlam, BC. !
Wwe sit up top on the back side of the fireplace, against the window wall to the right left if facing out of the bookshelf. look to Yyour right when walking in, and Yyou should see Uus in the distance. Making a Teddy Bear of some kind for identification If not, pls ask a server. *Again pls try to inform or email me if Yyou can, as i can have enough seeting for Aall.
Please email me here or @ TriCityMunch@msn.com

Hope to see Yyou there. Have a great week and weekend Kinsters.

Kinky Regards BB lil d

Next Brunch is: Sunday March 29th 2009.
The Next Tri- City Munch is Wed. Oct. 29th, 2008

Saturday, February 14, 2009

A Year In Passing... and those who are now gone.

One year ago today was not one of the better days in my life. Though i have had a few days where i have lost those who meant something more to me than any word can describe, and life seems just a lil harder to bare for a while........ But that day last year was probably one of the worst i think i ever had to face, and i truly hope i never have to again in my life - nor anyone else for that matter.

Though sadly there are a few people out there that are in my dear friends of a circle who are going through a tough time in loss. i am there for them, as i have gone through something rather rough and tumble and know how they feel. It is one thing to lose that lil loved one of a "kid"/pet/budy/life, it is another to have that truly special one ripped away from you for reasons that just don't add up.

For those that i am dear and close to... including stevie's girlfriend's mom... hugs to you all. i feel your pain, and i am there for you. And for that i am going to post again what i posted last year, and it seemed to make me feel just that lil grain of sand better. i hope it brings a lil bright hope to you as well, and maybe some warmth in your heart.

Love, hugs, and BB to you

lil d



Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies, that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There are plenty of food, water, and sunshine. and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of the days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing - they each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks up into the distance. His bright eyes are intent, his eager body begins to quiver.

Suddenly he begins to run from the group. Flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kissed rain upon your face, your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent in your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together.............

Author unknown


Many thoughts come to mind in this time. Everything from anger, all the way down to depression and an emptiness or loneliness in most cases. But as I sit here reading over those very comforting words, that truly fit in any circumstance, I am reminded of many teachings. Listening to the Hindu and Budha way of thinking and living is that when one shows sorrow towards the departing, their souls stay with us and don't pass on to the next life. But I do also believe that it is us we who are most saddened by any one thing or person passing on, as it is us who have suffered the loss. The one who has passed on is in a greater place, and looking on us.... guiding us.

I have every right to be pissed though. This is no time to just say hay, poo happens. I'm sorry, there is no reason why all this should have happened and in such a short time in this way. Though I understand full well that getting angry isn't going to get me any where, and what am I going to get angry at. I know where I would like to direct it, and people and our environment and what we put in it and our food is a good start. But for now I am just going to 'be', and get through the next couple weeks. Try not to focus on what is not around any more, and the silence. 

This is a good time to find my music again.... don't ya think.