Who the frig does the "B" think she is.......

I find it rather disturbing that a cerrtain someone in this so called vancouver "community" thinks that she has the right to decide what people can post and say in any group. Especially when she herself is a bully to so many others, and goes around hurting people in as many ways as she can. she states about how a good person goes into a group to post negative posts, and is mad about it and wants Him removed from fetlife..... I think this BITCH should go and read some of the posts that she has posted in the past, particularily in the recent. Actually going out of her way to hijack posts to her amusement with another lil "cunt", making so no one looks good no matter what is said there. Harrassing everyone they can that might have even one word against what they say, but even going out of their way just to start a fight.
But even more obserd....... these two lil childish things.... start their own lil thread talking about what they are doing. Does this negate good behavour? Does this not look like they should be booted from fetlife? I would think so. Their own behavour shows who they are and what they are up to.... and that they have no grounds for what they are thinking they can do with the moderators. If the moderators have any brains, they would ignore this Bitch, and boot her out for her activities.... she has been booted before - and she should not have been let back in. she has dragged her same shit from another online place to this one, which was to be a most wonderful place... and turned it into a mudpuddle that no one wants to be a part of any more. sad... And no one wants to be a part of Vancouver either, that should say something right there. Kick that "thing" out of dodge.

Can we devide this community any more than some people already have? It looks like there are ways, by the way i am looking at it. Sadly.

One doesn't have to go out to China Town and buy one of those absolutely gorgeous dividers in that perfect lil shop that i love to go to... you know, the ones with the beautiful paintings on them. They fold up into one piece, but are three wall pieces when pulled out to view and use for purpose.

Most use them to hide unsightly objects in their house. Or you can even use them to hide a bed in a bachelor appartment, to which is a great way to make a whole other room in those situations.... even if there is more than one room already..... *thinking kinky here*. And think of all those designs one can cum up with to actually paint on the canvas, if you get them blank. hmmmmmm. Yes there is a better way to do things, ways to put smiles on faces.

Or there is always the beaded curtain way. i am sure everyone remembers when they came out, ok at least anyone over the age of 35. Now with those there is a bit of an air of mystery still, as you can see some things on the other side... depending on the cutain and how think is it of course. And curtains today even have their own design on them, some that would put your favorite painting to shame. i have looked at a few of these, and even pondered how a couple would work in my own house. Yes, there is a way to devide in a sixties way. i am just a beatnik, i don't feel ashamed about it at all.

Though some people actually use furnature as a devider. Now this takes tact and art to pull this off, and of course the right pieces to do this with. You can't just take your regular old lazy-boy and expect this to make that oh so wonderful looking wall between the family room and dinning room, especially if there is over 12 feet of space between walls. Where are the subby stools, and where does one place there wine glass? Ok, the glass of a Dom. *pffft* 

Then i think of those stupid looking shrubbery thingys that people think look great between their fences and the road and their yard. Half the time they aren't kept up to par, and the rest they just don't fit in with the decore of the yard or house. And if you are really lucky, there is a wasps nest in one for every block. So if you run out of honey for your toast in the morney, just go to your neighbors... they have a fresh supply in their hedge. Just bee careful not to scare the local residence, you might get stung. And any kind of reaction can cum out of that, and that is not pretty at all. Wasts swarm, and get you in numbers. lil bugers, and if you destroy one nest... they are making a new one 15 feet away from the old one. Smart too. Just in the sence of survival.

Me, i would like to have flowers and and ocean. i know the only thing possible is the flowers all around, with a few cute lil trees. i'll transplant some of those choke berries around my yard from all those shoots, and i have a few extra salmon berry trees growing all over here as well...... nummmy jam. woo hoo. Sunflowers everywhere, and corn. Yuppers, they make great dividers. And if i get enough bird feeders out there, i can even help out the lil guys that keep knocking at my door. i am sure they are starving, as they eat that food like it is going out of style... then they each bring 10 of their friends within a week of that. wow. Love the birdies, hate that fucking squirl that ate up one of my birdie feeders though. He is going to get it, throw berries at him. 

So why can't everyone and everything just get along? Why does everyone have to take over everything, and make sure that even the lonely lil flower at the back of a yard is starved for light.... just so they can get ahead in life and make themselves look and feel better..... i used to think i knew why. i don't any more. i have given up on trying to figure that out, and on trying think that anyone around will care. Because what would seem a person that has your interest in heart, or at least they keep telling you they do (that should be a sign, they keep saying it)... well, there is always another story behind the glued together penthouse pages. Yes is did say that. Why fight, when we really don't have to. Why compete when we truly don't have to. We can all get along, do our things and still get it all in, and guess what.... be friends. omg. what a concept. But i guess this is all what is called human nature, which i still (after 5 years of university) don't understand. i should have gone to college, stayed and did a 3rd year of shop... made my own divider...........

Marylin Monroe - "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control at times and hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best". 

This quote was in a lovely bottom's profile somewhere..... and well, it is so true. It took me back a few, and made me remember who i was and why i am who i am. Thank you to that bottom for having this around.... and thank you Marylin, you are sadly missed.

Where is the sanity, where is the pain releaf?

There are a ton of posts that i have done in Fetlife and haven't moved over to here, and probably will in the next couple of days...... just to make sure that they are here. i think it is a good idea, as it goes to the long story to what is going on now. Silly as they may sound, but tis true.

It is funny how life can deal us with our hurdles that we all have to leap over in order to get to that finish line in each race we have to enter. i certainly have had my fare share of them, and so far have made it over each of those hurdles. It is not like i haven't stumbled over a few of them, even on my face at least once, but i went for each one. But i have been dealt some pretty high ones in the last 8 years, and i think it's about time someone put a spring board in front of them to give me a helping hand..... especially after the news that was given to me a few weeks ago. i have put a smile on my face for the most part through all of this, but my face is to friggen sore and swollen today to even think of a full smile at this point.

The news was that my DDD has spread throughout my jaw and lower face from my left socket... and yes it is in my right socket as i had thought. This explains everything, including why my face hurts all the time and can't get my jaw open as much as i was even a year ago. Sorry guys, no 'Bluemoon Specials' for a while. i have found a brilliant dentist, who has been bending over backwards to help me out... and even in his spare time find a surgeon for me. For once in this whole time, someone actually agrees with me on getting this surgery. WOW. But of course now we know how bad things are, and it just isn't a socket and joint we are looking at. Not sure how i feel about complete lower facial reconstruction at this point, but i know it has to be done to some point. But what i have been going through lately just to sustain me until this all can get dealt with is almost killing me, and i am glad that it seems i am done for now. Having a hole drilled through teeth on both the top and bottom on the right side, then some kind of liquid injected into my jaw to help slow the process of the degeneration, and porcelain to fill it. Kind of like having posts or re bar placed through the teeth through to the jaw bone with an anchor, in the hopes to hopefully keep things in place. Not sure if this is all worth it though, as the pain and swelling is down right terrible. Nothing can describe this, and there is nothing to come close. And of course i am back to square one of not being able to open my jaw enough to get utensils in my mouth, or eat even semi hard foods.

Now i may be a massochist....... but this certainly is not the kind of pain i am wanting or needing. And to top it all off, i am getting anything to help balance this all out...... as a release per say (pain control). i am also thinking i might want to get some photos done, especially with my face in them, prior to any more work being done. Though i do think the next step(s) is the main surgery, and i am not sure what i am going to look like afterwards. i want to remember what i looked like before all this, or rather pre-surgery.... as my lower face and jaw line has changed already.

*one week later*

i think of all the places that i have gone to search for meaning and solice to calm my mind just hasn't worked. All i had to do is see all the discomfort and negativity in people's writing within our community, and it made me more sad than i was. It is almost that there is this whole needing of having to stick someone up on the firepole with the linch mob, just like in the witch trial days.... then if they can drag at least one person down and make them look truly bad, it makes those people look and feel better about themselves. But what i have read in the last couple of days is something that shouldn't even be up there, as these people are not getting the whole facts from the first posting (the original source). And when this happens, you can't even give them the rest of the facts, as they don't care any more. They have what they want to know by then, and that is that. i know all the info they need to know, i was there, they don't have all the truth of what that original post stated. If they knew all the facts of what was going on, then some of them would not post as they were. It may not mean that they would change their oppinion of a person, but maybe of this particular situation. What truly ticks me off about it all, a so-called reporter wrote this original post for the world to read. People get their thoughts from this, and there was only a focuss on one thing.... not about the whole picture of what is going on right now. Focuss on the negativity. Yet again. i was in those hearings, i know what was stated by all parties. This reporter did not go into any of it, and that i do not call reporting. So the person who posts this up in one of our lifestyle groups should have thought about what they were doing as well, if they had that so called intelligence they claim to have. Search out what you are posting to have truth about, not just something you suspect. It creates mobs, sides, and fears in people that not only shouldn't be there, but growth.

Now being a BDSm'r this disappoints me more than most of anything in my life. As most people are thinking that this one person that is fighting for his rights is setting presidence for everyone else, but he isn't. It is everyone that testified, everyone that has words to say there. And then anything that happens afterwards, including cases that are going to follow (as there is another human rights case soon to follow). i enjoy my life as a perv, and hope that eventually i will be back in full swing of things. Not sure when all that will happen, but i know i will. And when that happens, i certainly hope i am not placed at a stake and burned for words i may have said somewhere. i look forward to practicing my life as i have done so far, but in the hopes to do so more freely after all this. Not to have to worry about my job just because i like to be tied up and poked with needles for a rush, as if i was still running 5 miles a day or more. But then i icould be jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, and that is not considered insane nor a cult. i am a Pagan, not a cult. Cults are people who practice a religion or belief to a diety under one roof, which would put even christianity in that catagory. Gathering in a group to do so, and chanting or singing out to this diety. Hmmmmm. Since i am solitary, that would make me a non-cult.

i am a Pagan, and a kinkster. Many pagans are kinky, and vice versa. Would that make us all cult memebers? There is food for thought.

As i sit here thinking about whether or not i am going to go and pick up more icecream to sooth my mouth. i wonder what is next for me, and around that corner of life. i hope i can soon get that couple hundred needles in me soon, as long as my body will let me. That would be the purfect release if anyone asked me, and something worth striving for after these lil surgeries. Would do a body good!!!! Start getting back to my crafties, and sorting the rest of this house out. woohoo. Need to get the rest of furnature here, and in the very near future.... stuff from home town. OMG i need my stuff from home. *sigh* And garden, need to get to that yard out here and plot out the garden. This is going to take me forever at this rate. lmao.

BB

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

What i desire and need in this next year as it goes by.....

Another year has gone down for me. As I have been sitting here thinking through the last few weeks wondering what it is that I am wanting out of life, and what it is I am needing…. there is a few things that are truly missing now. Not that I am unhappy with what I have, as I have found a place in my life to keep me grounded and on my way to a more improved situation for myself. Realizing that I can not be placatory to everyone around me, that I actually have to pay more attention to myself and what is happening in  my own lil world and how it actually affects me. It is not that I mind helping all those I care for, and then some. It is that I have put so much aside in my own life,  I have fallen behind in putting my health and life back together in the last few years. My shirt is going to have to stay on from time to time, and I am going to have to request a shirt be put on my bare back every now and again. Something that I find extremely impossible to do most days, let alone on a bad day when it is needed.

Though as I sit here now, writing this all out, I do comprehend to the fact that there are a few things still missing in my lil life that can and will make me content. That also includes that special person that makes me whole, and it can not be just anyone either. I am missing my beloved pooch, but he is irreplaceable. I have many close friends and people in my life that put many a smile on my face, and even having me laughing til my gut hurts. But it is at the end of the day when I am thinking of whom I have to say goodnight to, and whom I have to look forward to seeing at our next meeting…. the excitement that it all entails.

 

I, in my life at this time, am not seeking someone who wants to put welts on me everyday. Yes I am a masochist, but I also cherish my body. I am always still needing that endorphin rush, and always will. There are numerous ways to achieve this, not just by blackening my ass.

Over the last couple of months I have truly enjoyed the needle play that has been blessed upon me once again fully in my life. I do look forward to more. The signal tail will always be a part of me, as will a select few impact implements. I’ve realized how much I miss rope play and bondage, and just plain being Domed in all the right ways. Having someone have that control over me, and yes that someone does have to be able to control me.

Leading into that particular thought I did have a moment approximately a month back. Someone had just grabbed the back of my hair, and off I went. It certainly didn’t take much, and it took me back to where I always loved to be – erotocomatoselucidity. Under someone else’s control, space and out there. Within someone’s head and world, and them within mine.

 

I need having that girlfriend in my life. Not just the one that I can have that intimacy with, as yes that is something that is important to me. A lady that is the one who is my friend as well; someone I can hang with, and as well interact with. I just need that “girl time,” whether just a friend or a girl friend.

 

I am going to surround myself with a positive atmosphere. Negative people be ware, I am going to be spending less time with you. It’s not that I like you any less, I am trying to heal and get my body in a more preferable state is all. My health is going to become one of the number one things at the top of my list, and a few of the obstacles getting in part of the way is part negativity surrounding me. If something frustrates me, I am going to deal with it then walk away…. and go on with life from there. If there is a fare amount of drama coming from anywhere and it isn’t a play or television show, I’m hanging up and walking away.

For those friends out there that are ever so close to me you are always a part of me. I will accept you in my life no matter what, even in the rough times. That is what we are there for, no holds barred.

 

There are some wonderful men out there that make excellent Doms/Masters. I know this, as not only have I met them I have been with a couple of them. There will be the day when one will knock on my door, and hopefully Wwe both will be in the right time and space in our lives that just maybe a relationship is what Wwe both are seeking out. Not only will I accept this person with all their lil faults, but it will go both ways. There will be understanding on how Wwe live our lives, and how some times life can get away from us and Wwe get just a mite busy. I wouldn’t expect His hand to be at the back of my hair 24/7, as I do believe He wouldn’t presume that I could be at His feet all day long as well. Though for Him to have thought of me at least once a day is always a delightful introspect. It’s not that we lil ones think about our Doms “all” day long, but They certainly are on our minds for a good portion of it.

 

This might seem as if I am in a dreamscape. That just maybe I may never find the one who enjoys a fare amount of the pervs as I do, or at least let’s me explore a few of them as I would bend a few edges for them. I don’t assume that this is a tall order to ask of anyone out there, it is only a request and not a demand. I want to serve for some one, this is my true desire of all. And along side that I have a few kinks that make me tick, and I only have aspirations that some Master out there will be more than willing to allow me to do what I not only do best…. but desire.

 

So I sit here pondering my precepts wondering what all exactly I am wanting out of life…. especially for the what I have time for. I still am getting ready to finish re-certifying, and then going for the other big “ticket” when I am done my dissertation. That I am sure will take another couple of years, but I am fully prepared for that. I’ve actually stuck my head in a philosophy book to take a break from it, as nutrients and biology is running my life in more ways than I care at this point enough I need to take a step back from the pages and exams. I should actually pick up a joke book, it might give me a different perspective on things floating around me. lol. Though I did sit and read part of a truly good one of a friend of mine’s that had me in stitches the other day on bed time stories, Politically Correct Ones at that. Now that is something I recommend to anyone who needs to look at life from a different angle, and trust me it will put you there. I suggest all politicians should actually read it, it might get some of our world wide problems solved just a tad faster then what we are facing today down the scope of a rifle or on the ticker tape floor.

 

Tomorrow I think I am going to make confetti out of all my bills. The best solution I heard to anything, and if they want payment they have to put together the pages first. Puzzles, yes that is what everything should be for those big-wigs when they demand things form the lil guy. I might even try to make an oath of note to throw any more creamers for a whole year, but not sure what I would sweat upon…… BDsm 101? And since I dusted and did all my laundry today, and the dishes are all done, and I am not going to get into any other type of house work, I will not make my bed for a change when I wake in the morning just to be slightly rebellious and just to show the world that I know I am not perfect… thought I might have to be tied down to keep me from doing that last one. I am going to eat something different this week, as long as I can get in some suzzi. And I am going to go and listen to some blues on Thursday, that is my only request for that day. Tomorrow is so friggen busy I won’t know which end is up til approximately 4pm in the afternoon, and after that I will probably rest for the rest of the week and Rascals. I might even steal someone’s tub for a couple of hours, though I will probably ask them first…. I am so not that type of person. And when Sunday rolls around, I will breath. Do my best not to throw that creamer, and have as many laughs as I can. woo hoo.

 

To the next coming year!  OMG, life seems to slip between our fingers without us even knowing it. One day I will catch it, and tell it a story. Tell life what all I have done, and what I really want to do….. my bucket list.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tri-City Brunch!! This Sunday - Feb 22.

Greetings Fellow Kinksters & Munchie's,

Yes, there is a Tri-City Brunch in our future... this Sunday after that wonderful Rascals party. Yipeeee! And we just had a Valentines to-boot, for those romantics. i am looking forward to this months events, at least all the ones that i can certainly attend. And fooooooooood.

It is the 'monthly' (The last Sunday of EVERY month)Tri City Brunch held at the John B Pub. Excellent food, wonderful people, awsome service, cute too, and just a wonderful day to be.
Here is the food information for the Tri City Brunch

There is a huge spread of food for pretty munch everyone's tastes out there. From Dim Sum to Poached Eggs, Waffles with Whipped Cream, and i do believe there is even some meat for the side and baccon and sasauge, perogies to go with for the Europian. There is several salads, and fresh veggies for the munchies. And if you are looking for desserts, from 10 or so different kinds of cheese cakes to peacan pie and cocoa mouse. In other words, more dessert than one can handle. Pluss fruit as as well, to balance this all out. Pure Nummmyness. i will have pics soon for Eeveryone to see, camera probs. But there are a few people out there from the last few brunches that can attest to the wonderful food there is to offer. It is worth the cost. And you can order from the menue after 12:30 pm. if the buffet is not for you.
Tri City Sunday Brunch !

Sunday, February 22th, 2009
11:30am to 1:30pm or so (til late afternoon)
John B Pub 1000 Austin Ave. @ Blue Mountain Coquitlam, BC. !
Wwe sit up top on the back side of the fireplace, against the window wall to the right left if facing out of the bookshelf. look to Yyour right when walking in, and Yyou should see Uus in the distance. Making a Teddy Bear of some kind for identification If not, pls ask a server. *Again pls try to inform or email me if Yyou can, as i can have enough seeting for Aall.
Please email me here or @ TriCityMunch@msn.com

Hope to see Yyou there. Have a great week and weekend Kinsters.

Kinky Regards BB lil d


*PS**
Next Brunch is: Sunday March 29th 2009.
The Next Tri- City Munch is Wed. Oct. 29th, 2008

A Year In Passing... and those who are now gone.

One year ago today was not one of the better days in my life. Though i have had a few days where i have lost those who meant something more to me than any word can describe, and life seems just a lil harder to bare for a while........ But that day last year was probably one of the worst i think i ever had to face, and i truly hope i never have to again in my life - nor anyone else for that matter.

Though sadly there are a few people out there that are in my dear friends of a circle who are going through a tough time in loss. i am there for them, as i have gone through something rather rough and tumble and know how they feel. It is one thing to lose that lil loved one of a "kid"/pet/budy/life, it is another to have that truly special one ripped away from you for reasons that just don't add up.

For those that i am dear and close to... including stevie's girlfriend's mom... hugs to you all. i feel your pain, and i am there for you. And for that i am going to post again what i posted last year, and it seemed to make me feel just that lil grain of sand better. i hope it brings a lil bright hope to you as well, and maybe some warmth in your heart.

Love, hugs, and BB to you

lil d

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MONDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2008

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies, that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There are plenty of food, water, and sunshine. and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of the days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing - they each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks up into the distance. His bright eyes are intent, his eager body begins to quiver.

Suddenly he begins to run from the group. Flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kissed rain upon your face, your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent in your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together.............

Author unknown



***


Many thoughts come to mind in this time. Everything from anger, all the way down to depression and an emptiness or loneliness in most cases. But as I sit here reading over those very comforting words, that truly fit in any circumstance, I am reminded of many teachings. Listening to the Hindu and Budha way of thinking and living is that when one shows sorrow towards the departing, their souls stay with us and don't pass on to the next life. But I do also believe that it is us we who are most saddened by any one thing or person passing on, as it is us who have suffered the loss. The one who has passed on is in a greater place, and looking on us.... guiding us.

I have every right to be pissed though. This is no time to just say hay, poo happens. I'm sorry, there is no reason why all this should have happened and in such a short time in this way. Though I understand full well that getting angry isn't going to get me any where, and what am I going to get angry at. I know where I would like to direct it, and people and our environment and what we put in it and our food is a good start. But for now I am just going to 'be', and get through the next couple weeks. Try not to focus on what is not around any more, and the silence. 

This is a good time to find my music again.... don't ya think.