i'm not perfect... i just try.

Munchin in Salem

Had a most delish time at the Salem Munch last night. It was so wonderful to see everyone again, and a few new. Great food at new venue, and wonderful lil back spot they have. I truly enjoyed the evenings hat topics, including the one on male genitalia torture..... went from simple to rat traps.... now that is a great idea!! Dont ya think. muahahahaha.


Now the rest of the week goes on.......
Next week I can't wait.


Lil D

~ A Hard Afternoon Delight ~

Took place: Spring of  2011

~ A Hard Afternoon Delight ~

He told me He was going to make me cum hard and lots today........

i had just jumped out of the tub. Still in my robe, and just chatting with Sir about to go get dressed. "Why?" He said. "Don't get dressed, I'm going to make you cum hard today. Go get your toys while I finish up here, I won't be long." Off i went skipping to the thought of cumming for Sir; getting wetter by the minute as i set-up, not that i wasn't extremely wet already. Shortly after.... me waiting patiently as per.

When He was done with what He was doing... He told me to play with my pussy. i love being able to play with myself, especially when Sir watches. As He sits there in His chair guiding me along my way, all i can think is how wet i already was and He should feel this. Wishing He would.

i slide my fingers over my lips wetting them. Then i start to rub my clit nice and slow, feeling the warmth slowly build in me.

"That's right baby, just like that."

Moving slightly faster, now spreading my lips with my other hand. i draw my hand up to my mouth, licking and sucking my juices off each finger.

"Does that taste good baby?"

"Yes it does Does Sir, very much." Moving my hand back down and re-wetting my fingers.... Thrusting one finger then two, first slowly then faster.

"Yes, fuck that pussy for me!"

As i feel myself rocking on this pleasure, seeing Sir watch me, starting to warm me and get me more arroused by the second.

"That's right, keep fucking that pussy."

All i can feel is the orgasm starting to rise in me, but knowing to wait.

"Grab one of your toys hun."

i reach over and grab my glass dildo, the one with the blue swirled ridges on it. First i lick it, then suck it. Swirling my tongue around it, just as i would Sir's cock.

"That's it, suck My cock baby. Show Me how you suck My cock."

Stuffing it all the way down my throat and out again, i then ask "how deep do You want me to go?"

"To my balls baby, take it deep."

Glancing over i see Sir stroking His cock and balls, turning me on even more. So i keep taking the dildo down deep into my throat several times, wishing at that moment it was Sir's cock down my throat..... i take the dildo and slowly rub it over my pussy, getting it nice and wet. Feeling the head at my entrance i push it all the way, shudders coming over me. Pumping my pussy with my left hand, stroking my clit with my right.... this is bliss.

"Does that feel good?"

"Oh yes Sir!"

"Pump it faster, and don't stop."

i start to pump my cunt faster, feeling the orgasm getting closer... yet i can not ask, as Sir stepped out for a minute. OMG, i had to stop. my legs were shaking, my body vibrating, if i don't stop i will cumm. Please come back Sir, as i turn and lay on my side not moving and not taking the dildo out. Resting with my thoughts and desires, all this not helping. Finally i hear Sir come back and sit down, i roll over seeing Him... i start to pump and play with myself again. Feeling the rush come back to me, and certain to burst.

"Cum for me baby, cum for Daddy."

That's all it took, those few words and the waves took over.

"That's it cum for me."

The heat the waves, rocking me, feeling oh so good. i turn on to my side riding out the orgasm, shuddering.

"No no, spread your legs hun."

As i roll over onto my back, spreading my legs again for Him, i see a wicked smile on His face. Nummy!

"Did that feel good?"

"Yes Sir it did, very nummy."

"Good, now stroke your cunt for me. take the dildo all the way out to the tip, slowly push it back in. That;s right, just like that."

i can feel my pussy throbbing, my clit is nice and swollen as i push and pull my dildo in and out.. cum dripping down my ass.

"Now thrust it really hard into your cunt."

As i do i moan from the pleasure, imagining His cock thrusting in me, fucking me hard.

"Nice and hard, and faster. Yes, feel good baby?
"Oh my yes Sir, very good." i can hear His moans, knowing He is going to cum soon, feeling myself reach the edge one more time.

"Lift your knees up to your chest, I want to see your ass. Wouldn't you like me to fuck your ass while your fuck yourself with your toy?"

"Omg yes Sir, please....?" Knowing full well that He wasn't going to lay a hand on me then, but my thoughts getting the better of me almost pushing me over the edge. Thoughts of His hands on my body, His lips and tongue caressing me, His cock thrusting deep into me. Pumping myself, feeling the heat waves coming on.

"Oh yes I'm going to fuck you, fuck you hard.......oh gawd ya."

i can hear the strain in His voice as He;s about to cum, and i start to vibrate. i love hearing Sir cum, and here i am again before Him about to cum for Him as well. "OMG Sir, please may i....." Barely getting even those words out as i can hear Him cumming.

"Yes baby, cum for Daddy. Cum now, that's it."

The waves of shudders, the heat the throbbing, flooding me. i came and came hard. Rolling over pulling my knees up into my chest, unable to stop. i hear Sir as He is cumming, and how it makes Him feel.

"Mhm, that's my good girl."

i haven't cum that hard and good in a long time, and oh did it feel great. i love cumming for Sir, i love how it pleases Him.

As i roll onto my stomache just riding out this wonderful feeling.....

"Did that feel good hun?"

"Oh yes Sir, very much so...... errotocomatoselucidity."

He laughs that satisfied laugh, knowing He's grinning.... Mhm.

He made me cum hard alright.

lil d

Sex and Menstruation (The Moon)

Sex And Menstruation (the Moon)


A couple weeks ago I was listening to one of my favorite radio programs and getting some great thoughts out of it. During the week, for a couple hours each night, a famous rocker hosts a show with 2 other people. And on this program they always have 3 topics that they discuss throughout, and no subject is too risque.

On this particular night N.S. (the rock star) was listing off the night's topics one being sex while on your period. During this chat N.S. states that if a woman is not willing to have sex with him while she is menstruating, he wants nothing to do with her. She is out of there. I like that thought, as it's only a natural thing in life.

So this got me thinking. My life, as well as others, and sex while "mooning." For me it hasn't been such a big deal, nor deal breaker for that matter. It's not a 1st date action for me, goes with anal sex, save it for a 4th date or later. But not a huge problem. To some people they won't even touch the subject, let alone actually do this. I think if you have barriers, fuck in the shower maybe, use a towel.... what's the big deal. It's just a lil blood, which can happen from getting fucked to hard or torn, not much difference. But there are those out there, men and womyn, that get rather grossed out by it.

Personally I have taken care of the grossness of it. As a slave, I was taught and trained to be accessible at all times, including while mooning. So many years ago I discovered this lil thing called a "Latex Free Make-up Pad," and what a wonder it has been. Not only does it replace tampons, it works great for sex as well. Yes folks, you can fuck while this is in the woman, and not worry about the blood.

For me this worked great for many reasons. First off tampons irritated the hell out of me and my phoopher, so with this no dryness nor particles left behind. No chemicals that have treated it, as it hasn't been bleached like a tampon. The thing lasts for hours as it absorbs so much, and after a quick rinse back in it goes (for those womyn out there that think they can't take something out of their pussy and rinse it, get to know your bodies better..... trust me this is nothing, and worth knowing what you feel like inside). You go through less, as you only need a new one at least once a day.... $$ saved. And well, I can get fucked with it in with next to no discomfort for either party. I've been told that "They" barely feel it when they are fucking me, just makes my cunt a lil less deep.

So in the end there really shouldn't be a problem right......? Not only am I accessible at all times without worrying of disposing of a tampon prior to sex, I've found a safer alternative to the tampon. Womyn are at their height of arousal while moonin, take advantage of it.

Have sex while menstruating people!!! It's natural, and just plain wonderful and nummy!!!

Lil D

And life starts a new chapter.........

I have gone through some serious life changes lately... some I care not to repeat, some I am soo happy that it makes me smile. I guess I would be starting a new chapter in my life, and hope this one never ends.



I met a couple of wonderful people in the last while. A woman that I can't wait to get my hands on and all over, and tongue too. she is just so bright and sexy, that I can't stop thinking about her and what all not only I can do to her but what we can do together. Oh yes I am taking her to the dark side, and to may other places she hasn't been before. I certainly hope that this one never ends, no matter where I end up in life.


I have also met someone else that has put thoughts in my head I didn't think were ever going to be there again. Thoughts of letting this person Dom me in all sorts of ways, Mastering me when I need it. I am never going to lose this Mistress in me, that is there now and is there to stay. But the thoughts of having this person not just Top me, but to actually take me and own me... that is something that has my juices running. And so refreshing, yes a wee scared, but refreshing in many ways.


When I was called pet for the first time by them several weeks ago..... it sent feelings through me that made me all warm and fuzzy inside. Yes I want to be their pet, I want to be their lil girl, I want to be what ever they tell this wench to be. And if they so chose to "punnish" me every day for no reason, plssss do. Spank me, make me your toy, tell me all the dirty things you want to do to me, make me do your whim and will, put your hands on me and reasure me of everything and making me feel safe. Take me to those places that I haven't been in so long, and let me know who you are. These are many of the thoughts going on through my head. But yet also letting me have my freedom, as this is who I am now and need to be. What is great about it all is that they embrace me for who I am, and what all I want to do... which includes still being me.... Mistress D.


There is a smile on my face now just thinking about it all. Something that has been hard to have there, and is great to know that just the thought of them makes me smile. Yes think so rather pervy thoughts, but knowing that they are in my life........... that is something to be said.


Now don't get me wrong in thinking that I haven't forgotten all those that are still in my life right now. There will always be something there with us, and I don't plan on tearing myself away from them. Nor will I forget them, and who they are to me as well. But for some moot, but wonderful reason, this new person has got my body wanting so much more right now. And I am very much letting it all in, and loving every minute of it.


To these 2 new wonderful people in my life... thank you ever so much.


BB


Lil D

Very short update

So my hair is growing longer, and the rain hasn't conpletely stopped.... but I am still thinking perfectly pervy thoughts........ Have had some interesting conversations lately. Some cleaner than others, and well down right great no matter who they were with. I will leave out all the new sad stuff, as well since xmass there has been more loss and nothing I truly needed.
Life is lovin throwing me a curve or 6..... now if I could just get my curves under control and call this all kinky. Doing lots of writing, and hope to find not only solice but a wonderful outlook to paths in all this.  And yes, still thinking of telling my sister that I'm queer and lovin it...... though after the loss after xmass, think I will leave that for a lil while longer.


If it's not raining tomorrow... into the garden, whishing I could go in short shorts here.... but not only is it not warm enough yet, but the eyes around here would not approve. lmao... oh could I shock them.

Going to go be me.....

ta for now

Stressed, Not Completely Broken

I think this year is going to eventually come to an end. What a wild ride this past year and a half have been, and sadly a great portion not so wonderful. Though I can say I have met some most wonderful people in this whole process (and re-connected with others ~_~), and I can say I would not trade that part of this whole experience for anything. For me though who is usually a tough-as-nails bitch in most circumstances on the good days, hit my breaking point a couple weeks ago. I have been trudging through from May 5th till now, and I had my share of loss last year which included my bro. And of course for most of those who know me well, know that my mom passed 13 years ago. Suddenly after some interesting conversations with family down south here, and huge disappointments that went with that, the loss of what I consider the rest of me ( Both Dad and Grams) 4 months apart hit me like a 10 ton brick.



Funny how a person deals with grief really…. As everyone is different. I have been going back and forth getting all that needed to be done, well done. And yes, have had my share of cry sessions. Have even discussed with many people about keeping their life in order, no matter what it may look like (as you don’t want to leave a mess behind for anyone). I haven’t gone to many events, especially after gram’s passing. I have had a hard time being my cheery self, let alone project something other than mourning if someone asked how I was doing. It’s been hard; but as many who knew both me and dad, we were one in the same that way that and not wanting to let others know that is may not be all that great. Hence why his was such a surprise, not knowing that he was more ill than he was letting anyone know – including me. So as everyone keeps telling me this, and all sorts of other poo to go with it…. Not like I need to hear anymore….they are also putting me in a position that I don’t want to be in, and of course leaving me up to do everything for both dad and grams. There was to all this wonderful help out there from some of them, including helping getting to these lil towns that I need to get to in order to sign papers/collect belongings/plan a service or honoring. And that doesn’t include having to go into the house in the mountains in Washington that my 2nd cousin on grams side is now NOT taking me to, and dealing with both estates from what seems like another world with 60+ yr olds telling me that I should be getting all this help with everything….. but yet non step up in any form (not even the kids). I won’t go into what I am not getting help with due to not having re-new’d my citizenship prior to their passing, and this includes the VA. Oh but I am still a US citizen, in their eyes…. They are missing some paperwork for what is actually important in this incomparable situation. Not very comforting when it seems what was my life is now gone, and even my sister couldn’t give a breath of help but yet take take take and be so crude. I don’t have a sister in my mind, not that one any way.


So after I got left at my elder cousin’s (rather my grams cousin) again for 2 days beyond the say I agreed to for a second time. I listened to how I am this person in the family now, and how I have to take care of everything. Jessie (grams) was the great person, her namesake before her (her grams), and great great grandma Moet was this great person as well. Now it’s my turn, oh and when is Jessie’s service……. And of course you should have seen the faces when I suggested after the holidays due to the weather, and where her ashes are to be spread. But that doesn’t matter, not in their eyes. God forbid I don’t do this soon, I’m sure I am sinning somewhere in this for holding off. Going through pictures, looking back in time, missing sooooo much. And every dang lil town I go to here has memories, from as far back as I can remember. As well grams and gramps lived in many, and so many family members including dearly departed Uncle Joel. I’m shocked I actually made it back here without losing it, let alone saying my peace in a non ladylike way (no we don’t curse around Irene, you watch what you say around most of them, but especially Irene). I think I will throw the “F” bomb out during grams service, just as I shoot back some whiskey.


Greg finally drops me off here after that second rather stressful weekend…. And I break. My body said “that’s it,” and my brain shut down with the body. I told the lawyer to piss off, told the managers here to leave me alone in the best way I could (born again’s who would love nothing more than me to tear this place down and just walk away, and yes have said that to my face), and turned off the world. For the first time actually let this all soak in, and took time for me to grieve and attempt to bring me back. Came up with an enormous amount of questions, and a few answers to some. Thought about life as it is now, and wondered where do I go now that I have lost what was my whole world to me – dad. And knowing grams was old and heading to Summerland soon was no joy these past couple of years, but losing that strength when I needed it most no matter how limited it may have seemed. Of course after almost daily walks, several movies, and music you start to see signs and/or similarities in things. There are stories told, stories to be heard and seen sometimes just when we need them. Maybe not always that answer we are seeking, but something that gives that hot cocoa on a cold night when there is a chill.


I picked up the phone finally the other day and took the calls I needed to. Cried through every single one, but I did it. Turned on the computer and finally started to answer emails and read life online, realizing I am missing life…. Even just as it happens (though finding out that night or the day after), still that sobbing idiot. Wishing I hadn’t stopped all contact, but arguing with myself on how I needed that solace and still hadn’t gotten it. And yes even told my lawyer to piss off again today, and cried through it. But this whole time thought about how I can remember these two people that meant so much to me, and defined who I am today. Still looking at pictures, as I need to for all of this. When I started this journey I had told a wonderful friend that I was going to start a picture diary of this experience, of course this was before grams had passed. Looking through all of these pictures, some approximately 200 yrs old, it has turned into so much more than that. I am not just taking pictures of what is around me, and this beautiful landscape that makes up Oregon and Washington, but I am seeing so much more. I am seeing my history, or at least some of it, and somehow will find what is in me other than what I have just been living. There is more, something that tells my story, and hopefully will help me get back that happy spirit that I am missing right now. Those answers may not all be down here, they may not be back in BC nor where I was born, who knows where this will lead me. It may lie in my bucket list, or maybe in someone who has those answers I am seeking. I may be stressed out unraveled basket case right now, and who knows when the waters will ease. I am going to fight for what I can, give away whatever the fuck I feel like even if it is the friggen china, do whatever whenever I darn well feel like – even if it doesn’t suite your cantankerous 94 year old mood………and keep trudging on knowing that there are family members and friends of the family that are not doing so wonderful, but not have such a heavy heart about it….. tears and all and not forget those friends who I do consider “my family”, and those wonderful friends again…. At least not when I should grab a shoulder to lean on.



• And yes typing this out helped huge. It makes me look at life from the outside, even through the waterworks.

It Was A Good Day For a Napping..... *Part 1*

*Incert Rainbow Pic Here*
To be placed tomorrow




Nov. 8, 2010






In a way this has been one of the best trips back home this year so far. I haven’t been able to do everything that I wanted, see everyone I truly wanted and/or needed, and certainly not everything I needed to get done. But I can say I have done a lot, seen a lot, and just been a lot. I actually have a calm smile on my face just for that alone, though still going to try to make that smile even bigger. I am completely aware that accomplishing everything is not always plausable, I can still shoot for a shorter star and think possitive. Weeeeee. Lol. Of course I have been busier than bill the squirrel cuttin wood for the winter, and yes tired at times, but all is good.






I was kidnapped last week and taken up to Queen E Park up to the Conservartory. Perfect timing for the sun to come out from behind the rain clouds, shine on us, and gift us with a phenominal double rainbow. Just what the doctor oedered, well and the soul. It was a gorgous afternoon all the way to sunset, and worth dropping life for. I took a ton of pictures, and we all walked around and soaked it in. The view was spectacular. It’s those lil moments that warm you, and let you know that life is so full of a few small gregarious and wonderous moments……. To be shared with those that appreciate the lil moments.


I had got to thinking about some Water Bondage up there…….perfect place for it really when you look at it all and get to thinking. Not too far down the path and hill some most excellent spots for suspension in the trees, I don’t think anyone would notice…. Do you?






I didn’t go to Rascals after all. I ended up on the phone with family down south, and having to deal with those matters and answering questions and anything else you might gather in that, that is drained me by the time I was to be already on my way there. So missed the party I wanted to go to, I am going to have to make up for that one. And I will. I haven’t attended anything here on the party aspect, though I did finally make it to the Tri-City Brunch that I organize here…. Enough to make my month. And the week into that actually made the Fraser Valley/Surrey Munch, and managed to see so many between the two that I was full. That was a blessing, and nice. Dressed in my working “walk of shame” cloths for the Brunch, as it happen to fall on All Hallows Eve…. Oct. 31st. A few others dressed as well, and it made for a great Sunday! No I didn’t get picks, brought the camera, lacked in the brain power to remember to bring it out. Shhhh. Will get picks of outfit for all to see soon, I promise. Ya….






Got to spend so much time with birdie…. Miss that dude. Took him for a walk around the yard the other day, and someone thought I was strange for doing so. But he was asleep by 6:30pm, so there is some good in there somewhere. Such a funny bird, and so full of characture. Omg. I found a couple new tunes that he likes, so I can almost have a full disco night with him dancing and singing away. Quite entertaining when he gets going, and you can get the right mix.


Went for dinner with a friend at a family restaurant last week. Took the laptop of course, as they do have free wifi available. And did the perv thing, as there is nothing like pervin all those things that you have been talking about for the last few weeks, especially when talking about “The Cone”. We had gotten through most of the dinner without having to worry about anyone seeing what we had on the screen, but then we had a huge table placed by us with 3 children with it. Pouted over that, but had great luck up until then. Even the waitress didn’t mind, and we think the manager came over just to see what we were looking at….get his perv on. *grin.* For the better part of it all, people never seem to surprise me. Human nature to be curious, human nature when it comes to sexual subjects in any form.






Wonderful weekend I just had. The better part being Sunday I do believe, and I can’t wait to repeat it again (love those Sundays, there are never enough no more). Spent it brunching with an old friend who means a lot to me, who always puts a permanent smile on my face. Talked about stories from a few years ago, that sometimes actually get talked about others. And of course one in particular that I like to bring up from time to time, as well I do get a good giggle out of it. And who doesn’t deserve a good giggle; it’s not only healing but funny, even at the expense of an authority like figure. *grin*, okay a few, but who is counting. Yes, I can say that. No, I am not an innocent. Yes, I will probably pay for it one day. No, I am not worried. I think those persons involved should really think about how they fell for it, really. Hehehehehe. Yes, I am stopping there.  No, I am not stupid. I may be who I am, and an damn proud of where I have come to. But I still know my place in the chain, and certainly have my respect for those.






Missed a wedding I was supposed to be at staying down south that wee bit longer to try and get certain things done before coming home. They didn’t get done, due to semantics. And now have other hurdles to jump. Will never miss a wedding again, nor turkey day. Still making up for missing turkey day, even eating my goat cheese with cranberries and cinnamon……. NUMMY! That is another story there, with recipe. Drool.


Going to be missing a few more things. If I haven’t missed enough already, between up here and a few events down south being here right now…. I am going to be missing out on a few more when I go back. Hahahahaha. Ce La Vie!



To Be Continued.........