Monday, August 25, 2008

M.J.S.'s Day

Today is Mike's day.
i can't believe that 7 years has gone by already. Some times it seems like it has been so long ago, then when one sits and ponders it was just a short time ago i was just sitting there having dinner with him and the kids. Such a beautiful man on the inside and out, and a aboriginal spirit and heart that reach far beyond the stars. Nothing could ever reach him i always thought, nothing could ever match. i was wrong, i can admit that now. Someone did, but that is another story......... hopefully played out in a happier way.
i know the brothers and boys went for a ride today. They do every year, no one has missed it. It was the perfect day for it; not too hot and not too cold. The rain stayed away for it, and it just seemed the right day for it. i know full well every year why i don't go, just as it took Rick till the last to call me 7 years ago today. It seems still that everyone walks on eggshells around me sometimes when it comes to this subject, and i don't know why. It is not as if i am dwelling in a desponded state, i live my life..... to the fullest with flair and moxie. Though i guess many people in the nilla world know of most of my life, as they don't see how i have flourished beyond this day. A small number do know, but not enough to make that variant outlook on my life to other's eyes. i have seen many a bro off to Summerland, far too many in my books. Some hurt more than others, and some never leave your mind ever a day.
So i sit here as i am trying to finnish a bit of work in a group i am part owner of pondering over the past and present. Thinking how bizarre it would be for me now if events had been different, and Mike hadn't had that accident with his bike. He was conscious of my perfectly pervy being; and though we didn't talk about it much, i knew in a small way that he was welcoming of it. He allowed me to fly and be free as i whom i was, and we shared a few special privacies together that our close friends had no clue of. How far he would go with me is another tale, and one that i still wonder over today. i don't think he would have held me back, i am sure he would have let me play per say with whom i had special relations with.... within reason of course, and with stipulations. He was just that type of man, very free spirited and open. 

i can see him now riding his bike in the clouds with a huge smile on his face. Knowing he is happy, and knowing that he is still watching over us and hugging us from afar. As i sit here with a smile on my face thinking about all the great and wonderful times we all had together, i can think of many perfect words to say. But the ones that come to mind the best would probably be: gregarious, kind and loving, dependable and secure.
Your missed by many dude. No i still haven't changed the battery in your pocket watch, and yes i will take michelle out for drinks on her 19th. Sushi all the way at the fav spot, i'll meet you at the pub after work. Ride Free. lovi.

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