my bike ride last Saturday was exactly what this lil one needed to be and zone out. Though it only put me back up to where i needed to be, though only for a short while. It was extremely nice of my friend to come to town to take me out on the His bike, start of the Harley and go for a spin, then head back on Sunday. Though now i could go for another ride, wonder who i could get to take me out for one. lol. There is always the Show & Shine tomorrow, at least i could go and check that out.
It has been fairly hot these last few days here especially up on the hill here. So i have been taking the doc’s advice and trying to stay out of the heat and sun, and just relax and try to feel better. Though i did find out that i had a Flare-up just over 3 weeks ago to add to a couple other things going on in my body, to which added to a not so good situation. Not only did this make a bit of trouble with my body, it not only made a mess with my life it changed it in not a good way. Though from what the immune dude said some of it could have been avoided, or at least not as severe, if it could have been dealt with in a better manner when it was needed. i over did it a bit with the holidays and a most delicious heavy nummy afterwards, then a weekend of Rascals and the Folk Fest, and of course way too much sun and fun without taking much of a break that was needed. Staying in a place without getting out of it when i should have, and my body wore out… hence everything just hit me all at once. Only if i had recognized the Flare things might have been different; though i wish the one person that could have helped me through some of this as well was there for me as well when it was needed.
Now there is me not going to things this week. No one will see me at Rascals tonight, which means i am missing out on a few things that i was looking forward to…. no biggy i guess, as i am more important. There is always next month if i am available, and don’t have something going on ( and i don’t think that i have that care job during that weekend ). i also didn’t attend the
Next week i certainly have to get on my mentoring of f.b.. he needs to get trained up soon, and then on to servicing of Someone asap. This way i can hand him off to a Domme that not only I know and trust, but suites him very well. Though first off he needs to work off his purgatory list for his indiscretions, then we have to go over the lil fet list of his. There are a few of his answers of his that i and wondering about, they just don’t make sence. Am i ever glad that i am not a Domme, this certainly is not me. Not only can i not train in that manner, but it just isn’t me. i certainly prefer to be me here where i am, a slave/sub/masochist. It is not that it is easier, it is just me. Now i am not saying or denying that i haven’t flogged or cropped the odd sis or bro, but that is for the special occasion and for good reasons only. “one for you, two for me”. Shhhh. And yes, i do know what i am doing when i do Top. i am not one of those fumbling li idiots that just picks of a flogger without any knowledge of what they are doing and starts to fling away, i have had training in all matters of Topping. And if one pays attention enough for the rest, yes you can pick up a thing or two along the way. And sadly, i do make a rather extreme Sadist for a bottom, not sure where that comes from. But as i had in a conversation on the phone earlier today on the phone with a bottom friend of mine (someone i have mentored for years), anyone can pick up a flogger and call themselves a Dom. It is the skill and the attitude that makes who They are, then you add the experience to it. Just because they hung out with a Dom for a couple of months doesn’t make them a Dom; not only does it have to be inside Them, but They have to want to take the time to learn Their skill and have the right attitude before taking any implements on someone and not hurt them in the wrong way.
So now that i have tried to type this out for the second time and hope it works……. i will have many thoughts going on in my head. Off to the shower this lil one will go, and she always likes to be soapy clean before going to bed. Though in my thoughts i will have my own indiscretions of 3 weeks ago going on in my mind, and how it could have gone differently. Yes, some of it was in a lil way my fault. i should have recognized what was going on in my body sooner, and maybe not have gone on with myself the way i did. Been so careless thinking everything was going so well due to how my legs were looking so great and all, and that i could have gotten away with all that sun and all. And i should have recognized a lot sooner that i was going through that other “thing” that we lil ones go through the odd time now and then, though hopefully not so hard and fast. And i should have taken the initiative to say something, instead of just saying i needed to talk. But Wwe all make mistakes from time to time, it is what Wwe do afterwards that make Uus who Wwe are. It doesn’t always work in Oour favor, but at least Wwe tried. Life is a funny thing sometimes.